We will never feel 100% capable of talking to little ones. The language addressed to them should be careful and well thought out and before every word think what you are saying is influencing their formation.
For example, the phrase "How smart are you" can impair children's motivation.How should we address them according to psychologists?
Say to small children: "Please ..."
For young children, life is all about constant exploration. Saying "No, no, no, no" all the time is very discouraging. Say clearly what you want the child to do, and he will most likely obey.
(Think: "Please touch carefully" instead of "Do not shoot the cat")! This age group, due to development, requires a double processing of negative phrases of the type "Do not ...". Therefore using simple phrases makes the job easier for both them and you.
Say to preschoolers, "Yes!"
Denial of desires can be boring for both children and parents, but it does not have to be this way. If, for example, your daughter wants to ride a bike on Friday while you have other chores, do not say no. Say, “Yes, cycling seems like a very good idea. Do we leave it for Saturday or Sunday? ” Of course this answer requires a little elaboration but with practice it will come naturally to you.
Say: "Your work has indeed been rewarded!"
At this age where children are starting to get grades for the first time, make sure you put more emphasis on effort instead of results. It is important to say such phrases to reinforce self-confidence in children of this age. This implies that when you work hard and get good results, not only are you smart, but you are also capable. Tell the children that you value their work.
Ask teens, "What are your plans?"
We can not expect teenagers to become responsible if we do not give them the opportunity to practice. Instead of telling them what to do, ask. For example: "What are your plans for that project at school?" show that you have confidence that they can be capable of making the right decisions. Of course their choices will not always be optimal, and in important cases your intervention is certainly required. But this strategy will give them the feeling of independence, which is what every teenager wants. If teens know you trust their judgment, they will want to be as close as possible to the expectations you have of them.
Source: Bustle
