I am a 56-year-old woman, separated for years by a 20-year marriage. My ex-husband left to live with the woman he had had an affair with. Our marriage had not been in order for years and our sexual activity had drastically decreased. I have a friend who is the same age as me and we decided to be "friends with benefits" - but I just can't see my "benefits".
He can not penetrate me and either I am "narrowed" or he is too big for me. After 20 years of marriage, I can not say that I have had an active sex life, so I am angry about that. We enjoy other ways, but penetration is impossible. Before consulting a doctor, I want to ask, "Am I making a mistake?"
Pamela Stephenson Connolly, a US-based psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of sexual disorders states:
"You are not doing anything wrong. In fact, it is wonderful that you understand the erotic value of sex without penetration. After a long period of lack of sex - and most likely hormonal reduction - some women experience some vaginal atrophy, which limits penetration with a penis of any size. "
Consider experimenting with gentle self-penetration and use lubrication. This can help you understand your current genital physiology. However, it would be good to consult a gynecologist. Typical treatments include hormone therapy, sex therapy, and vaginal enlargement.
Source: Guardian
