Inida Kreuz (Long), known as Jacques, and her German partner, Christian Kreuz, experienced a period of separation two years ago, but managed to save their marriage. In an interview with Soirée, Christian said that people change, but not always in the same direction.
"You know people change, we all change. But not always in the same direction. At a distance, when he takes some time to reflect, he sees more clearly. ”
Inida added that "being alone" helped her a lot.
"I would like to suggest to everyone, because I think that crises in the couple, especially in long-term relationships, are continuous and common. At certain times, when you are very angry, you may even make radical, hasty decisions. But reflection [helps]. "Being alone, distancing, made us realize our flaws, because before we put our finger on the other, we have to see the problems in ourselves."
She said being alone helped her not judge things subjectively.
Suzanne Degges-White, a professor at the University of Illinois and a licensed counselor for working with individuals and families, considers this practice to be very important for healthy relationships.
"When we think of the phrase 'intimate relationship', we usually think of the presence of intimacy between two people. Privacy is about transparency, truthfulness and vulnerability. It is about removing the mask you wear and the fortress you have built to protect your heart, self-esteem and feelings. It is about allowing someone to see the full 360 degree view of who you are, where you stand and where you have problems. "And it's very normal for this to be challenging," she wrote in an article for Psychology Today.
Degges-White calls the importance of being just "self-intimacy" and is about finding time to reflect and understand who you are.
"Self-reflection helps you reconnect with the person you are (or were) in a relationship with. Have you ever asked yourself, "Am I someone I would like to be with?" "Knowing the aspects of yourself that hinder relationships with others - and yourself - is the first step to removing them."
She emphasizes that "self-reflection and loneliness are about accepting what is true and determining what you want to be no more."
