As wonderful as sex can be, there are times when you just don’t feel it. You may be very tired, very bloated or sick. However, if you find yourself constantly refusing sex from your partner, you may be curious to know what this says about your relationship. According to experts, there can be a deeper problem, if you always feel "sleepy" or "tired" when it comes to intimacy. If you suspect that you or your partner are using fatigue as an excuse not to have sex, here's what this might mean for your relationship:
- If you are the one (or she) who is always tired of sex
Sex expert Lola Jean tells the Elite Daily that you have to ask yourself: Is it turning into a "habit" of being tired? Is it an excuse? She explains:
"Like any conflict, it is important to approach the situation honestly and without judgment. "Remember that sex is something very intimate and talking about it is essential in any relationship."
So how do you approach this conversation with your partner? If there is a discrepancy in your sexual desires it is important to express the needs you have. Let your partner know when you feel most available for sex, what you are not liking and what you would like to be different. Communicating with each other will save you from the need to use fatigue as an excuse.
Therapist Jennifer Rhodes says this may be due to the fact that many important things may not be being discussed in relationships, even those unrelated to sex life. If this is an ongoing issue, you need to talk to your partner!
- If it is the partner (or partner) who is always "too tired" for sex
If your partner is the one who is always very tired, evaluate what they might mean when using it as an excuse not to have sex. Probably, it means that they do not enjoy the sex they are having but can not or will not express in words to their partner, according to experts. Maybe for them sex is accompanied by physical pain and they can not tell. In some cases, this excuse can also be a form of punishment for the other partner.
If you're sure "I'm tired" is just an excuse, it's time to talk. Have a conversation with your partner without blaming or accusing them. Be curious, ask about their experience, what they want or need from you.
Finally, remember that - no matter how fun - sex also requires energy, attention and presence. So if fatigue is really the only issue between you and your partner, do not stress about it. People who work long hours have intense work, work that requires a lot of physical energy, work that requires communication with many people, etc. Before you worry that there is something wrong with your sex life, consider the fact that your partner may simply be stressed or overwhelmed.
