The question that confuses everyone: Should you send a congratulatory message to your ex-partner on their birthday? Unfortunately, there is no single answer, as it depends entirely on your current situation and relationship with your ex.
Experts say there are several factors to consider before wishing your ex a happy birthday. According to her, the best thing you can do is put less emphasis on your ex and more on yourself and your feelings or expectations, by asking yourself these questions:
# 1 - What do you hope will happen?
If your only goal is to beautify your ex-partner's day, then you should do it, but chances are you hope for more than just "Thank you!" in response. If birthday wishing is your way of resuming communication with her, then do not do it. Understand what your true goals are.
# 2 - Do you still need an accurate and final connection "closure"?
While wishing your ex a happy birthday seems like a simple way to start the relationship again, it can also help you see very clearly why the relationship was not ideal. Sometimes, a brief interaction can be enough to remind you of the most frustrating traits in your ex-partner.
# 3 - Enough time has passed since the separation and have you become friends?
You can make friends with an ex, but it takes time. No one goes from love to friendship overnight. If a period of time has passed and you feel that you can really become or have become friends or at least maintain a correct relationship, you can congratulate each other.
# 4 - Are you romanticizing the relationship?
Sometimes, people idealize exes because they have not found someone else. Avoid the temptation to romanticize your ex or recall only the positive parts of the relationship. Recall the whole relationship as a whole, in many ways.
# 5 - Are you looking to boost the ego?
Feelings created by separation - such as self-doubt, anger, low self-esteem, etc. - can affect your self-esteem. Knowing that you can contact your ex-partner and possibly resume communication can provide you with the ego boost you need. If you are in this situation, a birthday wish does not seem a good thought.
# 6 - Are romantic feelings for your ex completely erased?
Only you know the answer to this. Separations are never easy, but it is important to remember the reasons why your relationship ended. A birthday wish may seem quite innocent, but if it will slow down the time to "recover" from love or stop you from moving forward, it is probably better not to send it at all.
Prepared by Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist and relationship trainer, Samantha Burns, meeting trainer and author of "Breaking Up & Bouncing Back".
Source: Elite Daily
