If you are the type of person who does not need a lot of time alone, nothing will seem more vague and disturbing when your partner asks you for "a little space". It’s so easy to spread panic and think you made a mistake, but the truth is that a little space can make the relationship healthier.
When a partner needs some time for himself, it does not necessarily mean that he is upset with you or that your relationship is falling apart.
"Sometimes we spend a lot of time with a partner or we miss our friends, or we start to no longer feel like ourselves. Other times, it is a combination of all these together. This required space can help us restore balance," he says. Jacqueline Shlain, marriage and family therapist.
The key, however, lies in how we "give this time / space". Do you have to retreat for an hour? One day? A week? Does that mean you won't even talk to messages?
"If you do it right, you will realize that this space can make you feel more grateful for each other and even bring you closer together."
Then, let’s talk about how long you have to spend “separated”.
Since the situation is unique to each relationship, the first thing you need to do is ask your partner to explain what you mean by "space" and how he or she thinks you can help.
"Sometimes it's very easy. They may just want more time to pursue a hobby or go to the gym."
Get answers to all your questions so you do not feel confused. If your partner just wants an evening out just to calm down after a difficult experience, for example, ask how you will know when he will be ready to talk again. That way, you will both know what is expected of you.
However, troubles arise when a partner "wants space" but can not determine what he really wants. Ask him to be more specific because that way you will be able to help him. If your partner is unclear, set some rules like "We will not send messages during working hours" or "We will stay alone every night of this week" and follow these rules.
Of course, if a partner's request for space seems completely ridiculous, you do not have to agree with them just to make them happy.
But when you live together, how do you give space to your partner?
It seems like a complicated situation, but it is not the end of the world. You can leave every morning for a coffee, to go out alone, to do some work yourself or to go out with a friend.
So the next time your partner asks for some time alone, do not panic. Instead, get all the answers you need. Talk until you reach the best way to give your partner space, respect each other’s boundaries and build a more positive relationship.
