Many times, when I tell women that I have worked as a sex worker, they look me in the head and say, “Really? Maybe I get this reaction because I am 1.60m tall and weigh 104 kilograms and I certainly do not fit into the concept they have for sex workers.
There are many concepts about sex workers and the most common idea, referring to my experience, is that everyone should look like Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman" and that men want women who are thin.
I am here to tell you that this is wrong.
By no means do I want to convey that I recommend for the mother to be inactive. I am a person my doctor calls "obese". I have a big, round belly, covered with pink stretch marks, soft breasts, nipples that my first boyfriend called "black pepper" and a mustache that want regular waxing. I am human and imperfect and have worked as a successful escort for over a decade.
Initially I started working as an escort through a site, which no longer exists. Last year, I went to an audition to get hired at a strip club. The manager saw me clearly and seemed to laugh at the fact that someone like me dared and was looking for a job as a dancer. He told me I was "too big". Given what I know from experience, it seemed strange to me why a strip club did not even take women as my job, when there are men withdrawing from our bodies. I went because I thought it was a good idea for their business.
Yet the idea of ??classical dancers in strip clubs is a fact of how men are forced into the idea that they should like thin women with gorgeous bodies and away if a man hires an overweight woman in the club. These places are just a micro-world of the world where we live.
What I have learned from all my years as an escort is the fact that in private conversation, men are more relaxed.
Anyone can be a sex worker. There are no beauty conditions. There is a market for all bodies, although it is true that not every market is equal.
While volunteering for a sex workers' union in Kolkata, India, I met a woman in her 80's who was still working as a sex worker. Is it easier if you are 25 years old? Maybe yes, but that does not mean that if you are over 25 there are no men who want to be with you. The difference is that men (as units) do not want others to know that men (as individuals) do not necessarily like a girl with a body like Playboy models.
The truth is that in the quietness of the bedroom where I sat with clients, men really withdraw from all sorts of bodies. It happened that I sometimes spent a lot of energy trying to hide my belly or try to turn off the lights, or go to the bathroom often to see if my makeup looked good. These are things that society had lied to me about before.
The real secret - which I think men seriously want us women to know when there are no others around - is to let them see you with all your flaws, completely desirable.
- Adapted from HuffPost
