Hello Anabel. i just read that anonymous guy's letter posted anonymously. I added the one that inspired me to share my story. I also want to remain anonymous. I'm not gay, but I'm pansexual. (St.red. Sexual - as far as romances are not limited by their choice based on sex, gender and sexual orientation).
I don't know if you've ever heard of it, but in a nutshell it means I withdraw from character and mind more than physically. If I like character then body is not a problem for me.
From a young age I knew something was different, but I didn't express it because I knew that mocking, or worse, would use violence on me. To be honest, I had no idea what that was. I had a close friend in the gymnasium with whom I always played and occasionally hugged or kissed.
Every time I saw it, I wanted to do it for myself. I didn't understand why, I just knew I liked it. It seemed strange to me just because others would make fun of me and my society would not accept such a thing.
My first consent was a girl, just like me. I tried to deny it, forget it, delete it, but I couldn't. Years pass and we are still friends, but not close. My feelings faded and I began to like boys. Something like that was good news for me. But again, I behaved strangely even when I was in a girls environment.
In the dressing rooms I would always lower my eyes, be ashamed of myself, and fight for others. I always hated myself. I knew that if I told someone, the word would come out and my life would be ruined. I was thinking about society. They would hate me. What about parents? They would be disappointed.
Throughout my life I have tried to run by myself, and throughout my life I have hated it so much that when I appeared in front of a mirror I felt an ugly and defamatory being. I even came to the point where I was even letting myself be abused by others.
I covered my body because I thought I would slander others with it. I have tried many times to end it, but I am afraid of pain. I thought about drinking some grains, but when I heard my voice from the other room, I was sorry.
This story has many twists, but I'm holding the steering wheel to my sexuality station. I'm pansexual and I'm not ashamed. Again, it's not something I can share with everyone because our society is like that. I am not a murderer or a rapist.
Nor do I ask anyone to be like me. It has not been an easy journey, but today I am happy to meet people who make me happy and have seen the beauty within me. When they first learned it, they were shocked, but today they tell me that my sexuality is one of my best features.
I am proud of myself and I love my body. I am happy to love anyone, without exception. We all have beating hearts, and among other things they are the same color and have the same task.
Note * : This letter arrived on the Instagram inbox Anabel_Hostel, from a girl who preferred to remain anonymous.
