I love you. I know you know that too. But do you know what kind of love is this that I have for you? It's from that love to wrap your heart, it's kind love, "I'm not going to be without you, but I'll fit if I have to be without you." It is the kind of love I can not describe; he was not my type, nor was he too kind to me, but I do not know why it happened to me and I'm sure I will never feel like this again. Feelings are not always good. I feel like I do not really have someone to love her. I'm in the option while you've always been my first choice. Love is in the small things my heart and all I've got from you have been "I love" but never love deeds.
Your mistakes are always forgiving, you who love without wanting to wipe out my needs and I always answer with "nothing" when it actually does. I die a bit in every promise or your unqualified claim. Not only does my values question, but sacrifice myself in most cases. In fact, I know that it is partly my fault that allows me this, but I always keep my hope alive for listening and taking into consideration my feelings and desires that I have. And we both know that I deserve it.
Every day I sacrifice my wishes as your life goes on. See how he builds with someone else what I want to build with you so much. See how you share those experiences I want to share with you. As I see my son grow up, I wait for my turn, maybe a queue that will never come; because I am aware of the things that can happen to us in life, are you?
Do you know what you love someone else and make promises for a life where he does not belong? I bet not! I got tired waiting for a queue I should not have expected from the start because at some point I was in the first place and could continue to be.
I'm not sure if the girl you're sure about will always be there for you. I can not be your escape from a relationship that we both know is non-functional. I can not get any more pain when I know I can free it. I wait every day for that great love act that I think comes naturally. Look forward to the day when you tell me that everything was resolved and finally we could be together. That despite all the situations, you and I could make our relationship work and be true.
I'm thinking of all that we could do. I know it was not perfect, but I think small things would keep this love that never came alive. Uninvited flowers, unanswered messages and calls, all the movies that we did not see together, all passed before my eyes now. You are not one of these shows as small as love, but anyway I'm not setting an ultimatum. At the end of the day is my choice: to wait for something that will never come or look forward and regret that I did not risk everything?
Forgot! I forgot that I was about to risk it all, now it's your turn. If you really love me so much, you will not let me go and if not better be just than a single lover. Today, I take the first step to not be the "expectant girl". I just wish that every dilm that will now see it worth more than the feeling I experience when I go to the movie theater.
