"I have an HPV - human papillomavirus." Infections are common, but from the type that I have had to visit the specialist seven times in the last two months, I am currently at risk for cervical cancer and, consequently, I had to do a Pap test, a colonoscopy and some biopsy - all very uncomfortable. I have vaginal lytes, which cause pain and do not leave with lotions or acids. I had to use them with liquid nitrogen.
Now I have no pain, but anyway, I have to visit twice a year and I'm sure the emotions will overwhelm me every now and then.
The whole situation has been shameful. I felt judged - by doctors and nurses who took care of me - and I'm ashamed to tell my friends. I no longer feel sex or sensual; I feel ugly - and stupid I did not know about HPV before it happened to me.
If I sound bitter, I am. All my life, I have sex with three men and I am married for two decades. When my doctor explained that HPV is a sexually transmitted infection, I talked to my spouse who admitted he had betrayed me. We are now in the process of divorce.
After looking for more about HPV, I found out that there are no tests or treatments for men, even though they are carriers. Only girls are offered routine vaccinations. Since we live in the casual sex era, there is no better way to protect ourselves. For now, life is very unfair. "
Written by an anonymous woman for The Guardian
