"When I fell away from my beloved for three and a half years, I felt so relieved that I should never have sex with her, I doubted I was asexual, it took me two years, two failed and pretty relationships online study to understand that my doubts were true.
I identify myself as heterosexual asexual: I have romantic feelings against the opposite sex, but I do not experience sexual attraction. I like kisses, hugs, handshakes, but these are sensual actions for me, not sexually. I was always confused because we were taught that romantic relationships automatically end in sex, which has always frightened me.
The last two times I've been in love, I hoped something would change. But as soon as I slept with them, I wanted to never do it again. This deep embarrassment led to the collapse of those relationships: I felt guilty of being disappointed, but also kept the urge for sex from me.
Very few people know about me. There is a stigma about asexuality - that we pretend to be a bitter, that we have not found the right person yet, that we have no feelings - the stigma I can not withstand at the moment.
Beyond the things that others think, I want one day to be happily linked: whether with another asexual person or with someone who has no priority sex.
One day, I want to get married and have children. I have a lot of love to give and life is not just sex. "
Written by an anonymous girl for The Guardian
