Whenever we hear the word "attractive" our first thought is related to physical appearance, but the truth is that there are many more characteristics that make us attractive to others, but one is the most important of all, according to research.
Psychologists and mental health experts believe that compassion/empathy is the characteristic that makes others "fascinated" by us.
When we talk about compassion, we don't just mean feeling sad for someone or a situation, but developing a deep connection with others, without focusing on what they look like, who they are, or where they come from.
Essentially, experts understand compassion as the connection with the other, the interest and understanding we show, without judgment.
Compassion: The Key Trait We Need to Develop
The above view is also supported by science. According to a 2019 study from the University of North Carolina, displaying compassion and good behavior ranks us high on the list of how desirable we are in the eyes of others.
"It makes sense," says Eva C. Klohnen, a psychology professor. "Biologically, we are attracted to people who show empathy and compassion. We all want to be loved and understood."
Another positive impact of this behavior is that it makes us look younger. How? Typically, DNA markers of aging decrease over time. Their length can give scientists clues about how old someone is, but also how quickly they're aging.
In a 2019 study, scientists compared the length of DNA markers in people who meditated with the goal of becoming kinder and calmer with those who didn't. As it turned out, the markers in those who practiced more compassionate behavior didn't decrease or shrink at all, unlike the others.
The researchers also concluded that people who focused on developing empathy for others showed more optimism, had lower levels of stress, and were more positive about life overall.
How can you show more compassion and empathy?
There are several steps you can take to show more compassion and change the way you view life:
1. Think of a person you love very much.
2. Let compassion "embrace" your body. Feel deeply the sense of exhilaration that comes over you when you manage to maintain peace and harmony with others.
3. Fill your home with things that bring you peace. Flowers, furniture, and decorations can help you feel better.
4. Write a letter as if you were talking to a relative, about what's on your mind or about a conversation you've had.
5. Try to put yourself in the shoes of the interlocutor or a stranger before judging their decisions or reactions.
Source: Marie Claire
