Jealousy is a very broad aspect and very often it also affects social relationships. Admit it or not, there have been times when you have experienced jealousy towards your friends, or vice versa. In fact, it is a very common feeling and you should not feel guilty if you are jealous of your friends, or if they are jealous of you.
Why does it happen as a phenomenon?
The reasons are many and varied. Often, someone is jealous because they have low self-esteem or feel threatened by the success, relationships, personality, or even physical beauty of his / her friends. "Someone who has low self-esteem and self-confidence has a negative view of himself and tends to be compared to those around him. After that, he feels inferior and believes that the people around him are more fortunate, more talented and more appreciated by others ", says Kathy Nickerson, a licensed psychologist and relationship expert.
According to her, another reason may be the fear of abandonment. If you have successes and experience many achievements and your friends do not, then they will feel jealous and will think that you will abandon them, as you will no longer have the physical time or desire to stay with them.
"Jealousy is just an emotion, like everyone else. If your friends feel hurt or irritated for no reason towards you, it probably happens out of jealousy. We create relationships with people because they unite our values, passions and perspectives. With all these similarities, it is not at all uncommon for someone to feel jealous. "This feeling is harmless, as long as it does not hurt you or the feelings of your friends," says psychologist Pauline Yeghnazar.
If you encounter it as a problem, how do you deal with jealous friends?
If you have identified the problem, you have to face it, even though it is not easy. First, keep in mind that jealousy is different from greed, which is usually related to the desire to have something that someone else has. Jealousy is associated with skepticism and comparing oneself to others. The difference between them is important, so you need to clarify what your friends are experiencing towards you.
Ask yourself questions
Put yourself in their shoes. I always hold a positive attitude, because as we said, jealousy is a human emotion.
Në vend që të nxehesh, mundohu që ta kthesh në energji xhelozinë e miqve
Ekziston një stigmë mjaft negative rreth xhelozisë dhe ndonjëherë, njerëzit e harrojnë se mund të ketë edhe fryte pozitive. Xhelozia mund të shërbejë si motivim për miqtë e tu, pasi mund të duan të arrijnë drejt suksesit, ashtu si ti.
Mos fajëso veten
Nëse të tjerët janë xhelozë, nuk ke pse të fajësosh veten. Edhe nëse je ti miku/ ja xheloz/ e, sërish është mëse *okay*. Mos e rëndo veten dhe mendjen, pasi është krejt normale të përjetosh një emocion.
Bisedo rreth xhelozisë
Mund të ndihesh në siklet, por duhet ta kryesh si bisedë, nëse do “ta këpusësh të keqen nga rrënja”. Sa më shumë ta vonosh si diskutim, aq më toksike do të bëhet marrëdhënia miqësore, pasi miqtë e tu do të ndihen sikur diçka po shkon keq dhe do të nisin të mendojnë edhe më shumë rreth raportit. Duke folur rreth xhelozisë në një bisedë me qasje pozitive, të hapur dhe të sinqertë, do të mund të kuptosh edhe miqtë e tu dhe do të mund të parandalosh situata të rënda.
Nëse nuk e bën dot përballë këtë bisedë, zgjidh një medium: mesazh, telefonatë, apo ku të duash dhe nise bisedën. Të sugjerojmë të mos e përdorësh termin “xheloz/ e”, për shkak të efektit negativ që ka.
Now that you have spoken, how can you deal with the jealousy of your friends?
Offering your help
Ask friends how you can help them work on their self-esteem. I ask questions like: “Did I hurt you with what I said? "If so, tell me, please."
Listen carefully
Yes, it is very important to listen to them and to be attentive to what your friends will tell you.
Set boundaries
It is a very positive thing to offer your support, but do not forget your limits. Set some healthy boundaries and be very direct.
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Source: Shape
