Understand that it may not have anything to do with you
It is possible for someone to indulge in bed without having an orgasm. Women usually pretend because they want to convince you that they are enjoying what you are doing, but that does not always go our way. We often worry that if we do not orgasm we will hurt you, when in fact there are millions of reasons why this can happen to a woman and it has nothing to do with your performance.
Maybe she's nervous because your relationship is new, or she may be taking contraceptives or antidepressants that affect libido. On the other hand it can also be something serious, it may not orgasm as a result of previous sexual trauma, stress at work affects and fatigue as well. All of these reasons are enough to kill the humor in the moment and sometimes it is easier to pretend than to talk about it.
Learn how to talk about it
Encouraging your partner aggressively not to pretend is the same as encouraging your partner to have an erection, just add more tension. Instead you can gently address her and let her know that the most important thing for you is to please her. Then you can use a vibrator, to make things more exciting for him.
Women are not complicated, many people just do not bother to ask what they are thinking about. Tell her you care about her and not just her orgasm. You will surely feel more relaxed if you realize that you do not expect it to always come. Make it clear that the key is for her to feel good and comfortable. If there is no pressure and you offer to talk openly about it, gradually she too will open up to you.
Or..do something even more interesting
Engage more in the prelude. Even if the reason why she is not coming has nothing to do with your performance in bed, you do never mind sitting a little lower. Talk dirty and ask about her strange desires. Everything will go well, but remember, it is important that she enjoys it, just like you.
Source: Cosmopolitan
