"Do not misunderstand me, living with HIV is not fun. Use condoms, test frequently, do not get infected. After being diagnosed at the age of 31, I suffered two years of depression. Overwhelmed by doubt, my insecurities turned into hatred for women who refused me when I learned I was infected with HIV. I felt helpless, dirty and spotted. I became a monster.
Although I once saw HIV as a curse, after years of therapy and after the help of a former girlfriend, my sex life is now better than cure. Before I was diagnosed, I took sex to be healthy. In my worst days, I was looking for privacy, but I did not know how to get it. Now, I appreciate it more, I am more humble; I enjoy sex because I know the value.
At first, I told my potential partners about the obligation, took my mouth out of fear, and faced my eyes shy. They never spoke again after telling me that I was infected with HIV and to say the right, do not blame me; nor would I have spoken to myself.
Now, I try to tell women who are interested in HIV being a burden, but something I've overcome. The virus in my body is negligible, which means I can not infect anyone else, but I have to cure it by the end of my life. Facing such a serious theme with chic, self-confident and controversial, in my opinion, is sex. It also gives me the opportunity to educate people on the incorrect ideas they have built for HIV. I have no reason to be ashamed and therefore I want my name to be quoted in this article. The time has come to put an end to the stigma. "
Written by Philipp Spiegel for The Guardian
