At a time when social media is a common platform to share about your life, the trend of posting selfies that express emotions has gained popularity. These posts, captioned photos that reveal deep emotional struggles, offer a way to seek connection, acceptance, or even catharsis.
While they may provide temporary relief, posting your most vulnerable moments for public consumption comes with great risks.
Not everyone has the right to witness our most vulnerable emotions. Making careful choices about when, and with whom to share our emotions is an act of care and self-respect. Such exercises not only protect our emotional well-being, but also show others that we value ourselves, setting the tone for how we expect to be treated.
The dangers of over-distributing vulnerable emotions
1. Judgment and misunderstanding
Once a post is online, it's open to interpretation, judgment, and even ridicule. Social media audiences often lack the context or empathy needed to fully understand someone's emotional state. Derks and colleagues' (2008) research on digital communication highlights how tone and intent are often lost in online environments, increasing the risk of misunderstanding.
2. Destruction of self-respect
Frequent public displays of vulnerability can devalue intimate emotional expression. Vulnerability, as Brené Brown (2012) says, is a powerful tool for connection, but it requires a safe and trusted environment. Sharing these moments carelessly risks signaling a lack of boundaries, which can invite others to treat us without the respect and care we deserve.
When we choose to share our emotions with people who have earned our trust, we strengthen our self-esteem. This act of selective sharing communicates that our deepest emotions are not for public consumption, but are reserved for those who can honor them.
3. Dependence on external opinion and acceptance
Posting emotional content often brings immediate reactions in the form of likes and comments. While this can feel comforting, relying too much on outside opinion can create a cycle where self-esteem is tied to online feedback. A study by Andreassen and colleagues (2012) found that individuals who depend on social networks for acceptance are more likely to experience anxiety and decreased self-esteem when feedback is absent or negative.
4. Unintended consequences for relationships
Publicly sharing vulnerable moments can unintentionally cause tension in personal relationships. Friends and family who see emotional posts online may feel insecure and unsure of how to respond.
According to Dunbar's (1998) theory of social relationships, emotional reciprocity is essential for maintaining bonds. Sharing deep emotions widely on social media, rather than in private conversations, can undermine this reciprocity and leave close connections feeling ignored.
When social media turns into a healing tool
This is not to say that social networks are an inappropriate space for emotional sharing. They can foster a sense of solidarity and encourage others to seek help. For example, a study by Rains and Wright (2016) showed that individuals who used social media for health-related support reported increased feelings of connectedness and decreased stigma.
However, the key is the intention. Ask yourself:
- Is this the right platform for this emotional moment?
- Who is my target audience and can they provide the support I need?
- Will I feel just as supported if I share this privately with someone I trust?
Remember, not everyone has the right to witness your struggles. By choosing the right audience and channel, you ensure that your emotions are treated with the care and understanding they deserve, fostering growth and resilience in a way that strengthens your mental and emotional health.
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