You are currently in the relationship you have always dreamed of, in a healthy relationship where everything seems to be going well. However, something is bothering you. And you often wonder why you're feeling this way when it's all you ever wanted.
Many people assume that if they feel the relationship has become "boring", they should immediately break up with their partner.
If this is happening to you, it may be because of the relationship patterns you have had in your life. If you haven't had a healthy romantic relationship model in your life, then a relationship where everything is going well can seem "boring" or "lacking spark".
See some of the 3 most common reasons, to understand which one is your case:
1. You are used to "1 day good, 1 day bad" relationship.
As with gambling, there is enough anxiety in the feeling of uncertainty or the thought of when the next "hit" or in this case, the next unnecessary fight in a relationship will come.
Relationships that feel like an emotional "roller-coaster" often evoke anxiety and uncertainty about what will happen in the future, and therefore, these feelings can be misinterpreted as excitement, passion, and strong chemistry.
If this has been your experience in previous relationships and you meet someone who is stable and doesn't cause the same kind of anxiety, you may mistakenly assume there is no chemistry or perceive the relationship as boring.
Such a perception can also occur if the relationships to which you have been exposed, for example that of your parents, have been unstable.
2. At a young age, you were taught the idea that you should put yourself second, for someone's love.
Një marrëdhënie e pashëndetshme shpesh pasqyron dinamikën në të cilën jeni rritur. Nëse jeni rritur në një shtëpi me prindër në një marrëdhënie të paqëndrueshme, mund të keni mësuar se dashuria është e barabartë me të qëndruarit në një lidhje në kurriz të vetes.
Kështu, kur rriteni, mund ta gjeni veten duke u përpjekur të bindni partnerin për vlerat tuaja.
Rrjedhimisht, kur hasni në një marrëdhënie të shëndetshme dhe të ekuilibruar ku nuk duhet të sakrifikoni nevojat dhe ndjenjat tuaja, fillimisht mund t'ju duket e mërzitshme.
3. Jeni të kushtëzuar që t'i shihni marrëdhëniet e qëndrueshme dhe të shëndetshme si të mërzitshme.
Nëse e keni mësuar herët se dashuria romantike shpesh përfshin paparashikueshmëri ose mospërputhje, mund të tërhiqeni më shumë nga partnerët që nuk janë emocionalisht të pjekur apo të disponueshëm.
So when you come across a healthy relationship that doesn't require you to repeat the same dynamic, you may feel like "something is missing" because the usual tension isn't there.
As a result, you may perceive the relationship as boring because it is not causing the same level of anxiety and uncertainty that your previous relationships did.
You need to understand that a toxic relationship is not a passionate relationship, but just that: toxic. And everything toxic does nothing but consume you until there is nothing left of you.
